Hilary Duff No Longer Hot

Since the Butterscotch Stallion is an equal opportunity philanderer, I like to keep my eye on all the young lasses that I might one day try and bed. With that in mind, in what I believe is an unprecedented event, Hilary Duff has gone from Hot to Not Hot all before her 18th birthday. Incredible. Talk about a fast flameout. At least Lohan waited until, like, 20.

But I digress.

What with her new weird-looking (too big?) veneers and weight loss, Hilary went from No. 1 on every guy's I Can't Wait Till She's Eighteen list to resembling some ghoulish creature that should be perched on the ledge of a fancy building in New York. And while she's not thin thin yet, she's certainly on her way, and certainly thin enough to be not nearly as attractive as before.

Hilary is, sadly, not unique, but rather just the latest in a long list of actresses who think extreme weight loss will make them look better, but in fact makes them look worse. That list includes Sara Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair, Jennifer Aniston, Laura Flynn Boyle, the aforementioned Lindsay Lohan, and potentially the most tragic case, Jennifer Connelly, the one-time bearer of Best Natural Rack in Hollywood. I would include Ally McBeal, but she didn't look good in the first place.

Stallion, out!