Come On, Bounce With Me

If you have nothing better to do, The Big Bounce is on HBO this afternoon at 5pm Eastern/2pm Pacific, and then plays all throughout the month on HBO2 and HBO Comedy.

(And this might help: Sara Foster's in it and she's pretty hot.)

Hilary Duff No Longer Hot

Since the Butterscotch Stallion is an equal opportunity philanderer, I like to keep my eye on all the young lasses that I might one day try and bed. With that in mind, in what I believe is an unprecedented event, Hilary Duff has gone from Hot to Not Hot all before her 18th birthday. Incredible. Talk about a fast flameout. At least Lohan waited until, like, 20.

But I digress.

What with her new weird-looking (too big?) veneers and weight loss, Hilary went from No. 1 on every guy's I Can't Wait Till She's Eighteen list to resembling some ghoulish creature that should be perched on the ledge of a fancy building in New York. And while she's not thin thin yet, she's certainly on her way, and certainly thin enough to be not nearly as attractive as before.

Hilary is, sadly, not unique, but rather just the latest in a long list of actresses who think extreme weight loss will make them look better, but in fact makes them look worse. That list includes Sara Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair, Jennifer Aniston, Laura Flynn Boyle, the aforementioned Lindsay Lohan, and potentially the most tragic case, Jennifer Connelly, the one-time bearer of Best Natural Rack in Hollywood. I would include Ally McBeal, but she didn't look good in the first place.

Stallion, out!

Celebrities Do The Darndest Things

So, this past weekend, in a scene straight out of something you would see on an episode of Arrested Development or Curb Your Enthusiasm, Pamela Anderson was presiding over her dog Star's wedding when, out of nowhere, Ali G (in disguise) rode up on an inflated turtle, playing a keytar, and dressed like a member of the Village People and proceeded to tackle her.

See, this is just another reason why I avoid marriage and weddings of any kind, particularly my own. I hope Star at least had enough sense to get a pre-nup.

Tonight on "The Tonight Show"

After your late local news tonight, make sure you have it on NBC as The Stallion will be galloping into your living room by way of "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" (the lamest, yet most-watched late night talk show...so you have to make an appearance).

It's a repeat from July 1st, so it'll just be me plugging "Wedding Crashers", but, hey, a Stallion repeat is better than no Stallion at all.

Penguins, Penguins, Penguins Everywhere!

Took one of my lady friends (met her at the L.A. Fitness in Westwood--and man does she have one of those great, firm little bubble butts that in-shape women tend to have) to see that penguin movie everyone has been talking, March of the Penguins, and I gotta say that the film was everything people have said it is--cute, funny, and informative as well as beautifully shot. It's simply amazing some of the breathtaking and close-up footage these guys were able to get, in harsh conditions no less. I didn't think the French were capable of such things.

Anyway, it gets my highest recommendation.

This Doesn't Happen When You Ride The Stallion

That title was almost poetic, wasn't it? I mean, "happen" and "Stallion" kinda rhyme.

Anyway, I never bought into Kabbalah like a lot of these other Hollywood-types have (or pretend to have), but the fact that Madonna is not Christopher Reeve numero dos may prove it to be the real deal.

Ponder this, however: If it really worked, wouldn't she have not been injured at all?

Let's just hope the fall knocked the English accent out of her.

This Day in Butterscotch Stallion History

While cruising around the internets today, I saw some disheartening news. Sadly, the only site that sold a t-shirt bearing my likeness, Randy & Moss, has closed their store. I hope my threatening letter didn't have anything to do with it, though I suspect it might.

They say it will be back, though, which is good. It's America, where small businesses can and should succeed.

Well, here I am...

The Butterscotch Stallion roams free!